Hey you all! How are you?

I figured it was time to explain my in-activeness in posting art, roleplaying, and all.

As some of you may know, I'm moving to France at the end of June, which is barely a month away. In that time, we've got to try and to sell our house (in this horrible housing market), sell the car, and find a new house. These last few months we've been working hard to clean everything (there is a lot of crap that accumulates in four years, surprisingly, that needs to be sorted XD). I won't go into details, but it's been pretty stressful. Especially because it's just my mom and me, and every day ends in fights and bad vibes.

Plus the fact that... I'll be leaving my besties. I've gone through this, what, three times already, but this time it's not the same. Highshool is the time where you start to make lasting friendships, and I'm so glad that I've met some wonderful people here. People that really get me, more than I get myself. I'm really... beyond sad to be leaving. I know everyone tells me I'll find new friends, but it's still hard.

I just got a letter a couple weeks ago announcing my acceptance into the school in France, so that's one thing off my chest. At least I'll have a place to go too next fall. I'm pretty nervous about it- it's one of the top schools in Paris so the bar will be high. It's gonna be hard but... I hope I can do it. Well... I'll think about that later.

But before the school year ends, I have to take the Brevet and I'm freaking out about it, because in all the practice ones I've been doing pretty badly. And that's not the only thing- there's piano recitals, Spanish DELEs, other finals, and my head is going to explode. Somedays I'm just getting... seriously depressed. Sometimes I feel like laughing hysterically then crying then punching a wall. I don't know why... maybe it's the stress, maybe it's hormones, maybe it's just me not being able to cope.

And I should probably shut up now, because none of you want to read this. Point is, I want to draw, I want to write, but I just can't. It's not art-block or anything. It's just every time I sit down to do something... I just can't do it. It's really hard to explain. I can't focus, I can't make myself do it no matter how much I really want to. I just have... no control. That's what my life feel like right now; no control. And for an OCD freak like me, that's not the kind of life I want.

Anyway, I'm sorry guys. I'm trying, but right now I'm just a complete muddle. I think I might have to put drawing, writing and roleplaying on hold until... Well scratch that it won't work. Once I get to France it'll be just as stressful if not more trying to settle in and finish our move. Maybe I'll have to put things on hold till... August. Actually, then school will be starting and I'll be panicking about that. So... maybe by Christmas I'll have a life again. *sigh* This is... incredibly depressing. Well, I'll cross my fingers and hope that things get better and not worse in the next few months.

I apologize for the rant... but thank you if you read this far. I just needed to write this out somewhere.